that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
