My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
