Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
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My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
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RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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