Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
