Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
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His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
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2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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