I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
