After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
