he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Randomize