i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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