I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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