I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
