is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
