she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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