I am in a vortex of obligation.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize