Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
