lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
