none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
