he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
