Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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