Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
