She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i dont even know how to be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize