if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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