I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
