Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize