are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My cat gives me a boner
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
