erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
