Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
