Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
