Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
We talked him into tasing himself.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
