I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Randomize
