RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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