I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize