I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
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Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
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There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize