SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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