I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
