But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
