it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
