We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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