wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
