Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
