I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You're a waste of cheezeits
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Randomize