I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
The ass gains better be worth it
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