We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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