wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
