I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
His hands were made for my vagina.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
