My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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