do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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