Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
