.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
