I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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