Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
