Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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