somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
