just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
organizing the empties. That sober.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
