SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
