the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
im holly from the hills drunk
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
