Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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