ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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