it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
i think im in europe. pls send help
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
