after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
