i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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