he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
