Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
