That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
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