My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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