There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
