I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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