Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize